The order of wedding speeches at a UK wedding

Traditionally, the order of speeches at a UK wedding is the father of the bride, then the groom, then the best man. That is a convention, not a rule, and most sources treat it as a starting point that couples are free to change.

The traditional order

Bridebook lists the traditional UK order as:

1. Father of the bride
2. Groom
3. Best man

WeddingPlanner.co.uk gives the same opening: the father of the bride is still the first to stand up and make a toast, and the groom follows.

Who thanks whom

Both sources describe what each speaker traditionally covers. They differ in detail, so use this as a guide and check with the couple.

• Father of the bride. Bridebook says he will usually welcome guests, thank everyone for attending and raise a toast to the happy couple, and it adds that he thanks those involved in organising the wedding. WeddingPlanner.co.uk says he thanks the guests, welcomes the groom into the family and says something about the bride.
• Groom. Bridebook says he expresses love and gratitude to his bride and thanks the wedding party, the guests and the parents of both families. WeddingPlanner.co.uk says he usually thanks the bride's family first, then key members of the wedding party, the bridesmaids and his own parents, and spends the rest of the speech on his relationship with his partner.
• Best man. Bridebook says he shares memories of the groom and humorous anecdotes, and ends with a toast to the bride and groom. WeddingPlanner.co.uk says he is usually toasted by the groom, talks about the groom and their friendship, and must mention the bride and congratulate the couple. It also notes that not all best man speeches have to be funny.

Modern variations

The sources agree that the line-up is flexible, but they disagree on where the extra speakers fit.

• Bride. WeddingPlanner.co.uk puts an optional bride's speech after the groom and before the best man, thanking the groom and his parents first, then her bridesmaids and parents. Bridebook says bride and maid of honour speeches generally follow the best man, but that the order needn't be set in stone.
• Maid of honour. WeddingPlanner.co.uk says the best man toasts her after his speech, and that she comments on the couple's relationship and describes her own relationship with the bride.
• Other speakers. Bridebook lists a joint speech by the couple, parents of the groom, siblings or children, bridesmaids and groomsmen, a mother of the bride speech instead of the father of the bride's, opening the floor to anyone, and a pre-recorded speech with several speakers. WeddingPlanner.co.uk adds that the best man's speech can be dropped, and that someone can first raise a glass to family members who cannot be there.

When the speeches happen

Bridebook says UK speeches traditionally take place after the wedding breakfast, and that it is increasingly common to hold them before the meal so nervous speakers can eat once they have finished. It also describes spreading them across courses, most often after the main course and before dessert.

Other sources lean towards after the meal. Country House Weddings says after the meal works best, because guests are fed and the reception is not held up, and says speeches between courses are not ideal for its kitchen team. WeddingPlanner.co.uk lists after dinner, between main course and dessert, before dinner, or at the start of the evening reception as all possible.

What this means if you are speaking

Ask the couple three things: who else is speaking, in what order, and when. How long you should speak depends on the line-up too: see how long a wedding speech should be for the ranges by role. For what goes into the speech itself, our simple 3-part structure works for any speaker, and how to avoid offending anyone covers the audience.

Start your draft

Once you know your slot, answer five questions on theweddingspeech.ai and see your free speech preview.