Maid of honor speech: how long, what to say and what to skip

A maid of honor speech at a US wedding usually lasts 2 to 5 minutes, which is roughly 300 to 650 spoken words. You normally speak right after the best man, during dinner, and you finish by asking everyone to raise a glass to the couple.

When you speak

WeddingWire's guide to wedding speech order says the best man kicks off the toasts shortly after everyone is seated, and the maid of honor speaks immediately after him. Parents and hosts follow. Its reception timeline says toasts are typically given while guests are eating.

Some couples move the maid of honor speech to the rehearsal dinner instead, which WeddingWire's maid of honor guide also mentions. Confirm the plan with the couple a few weeks out so you know the room, the time and whether there is a microphone.

How long to speak

Source	Length
WeddingWire, maid of honor guide	About two to three minutes
WeddingWire, speech order guide	Under five minutes, closer to three if you can
WeddingForward, maid of honor speech	Around 3 to 5 minutes; no more than 10

To turn minutes into words, VirtualSpeech gives 100 to 150 words per minute as a comfortable pace for a presentation. Three minutes is roughly 300 to 450 words, and five minutes roughly 500 to 750. WeddingForward also suggests 700 to 1,100 words, which at that pace runs well past its own 5-minute figure, so trust the clock over the word count.

WeddingWire notes that nerves speed you up. Time yourself reading it aloud at a calm pace, then aim to finish with a little time to spare. Our UK guide shows that British maid of honour speeches are often given longer, so if you have read UK advice, adjust down.

A structure that works

WeddingWire's guide gives seven steps and WeddingForward gives eight. They agree on the core, which comes down to five parts:

1. Who you are. Your name, how you know the bride and for how long. A short thank-you to the hosts is fine, though WeddingForward's list of don'ts says thanking everyone is not your job.
2. One story about her. A specific moment that shows who she is, not a list of adjectives.
3. Her partner. How you met them, or what you have noticed about her since they got together.
4. The two of them. A moment you saw as a couple: an early date, a road trip, how they handle a bad day.
5. The toast. A wish for them, then ask everyone to stand or raise a glass, and say both names.

If you barely know the partner, our guide to a speech for someone you're not close to has ways to talk about them honestly.

Sample lines

These lines were written for this page as patterns to adapt. Swap in your own details; a line that could fit any bride is the kind guests notice.

• Opening: "Hi everyone, I'm Dana. Lauren and I met in a sophomore chemistry lab, where she set fire to a paper towel and calmly asked me if I had a spare."
• About her: "Lauren is the friend who shows up. When I moved apartments in a snowstorm, she was there at seven with coffee and a borrowed truck."
• Turning to the partner: "The first time I met Marcus, he spent twenty minutes asking me what Lauren was like in college. Then he remembered every answer."
• The couple: "They are the only two people I know who can turn a two-hour flight delay into the best night of a vacation."
• The toast: "So please raise your glasses. To Lauren and Marcus, and to many more delayed flights together."

What to skip

Both sources warn against much the same things:

• Exes and wild nights out. WeddingWire's test: would the bride be comfortable with her grandmother hearing it?
• Jokes that cause tension, such as divorce-rate jokes, which WeddingWire singles out.
• Inside jokes the rest of the room cannot follow, and stories that are more about you than the couple (WeddingForward).
• Clichés and gags from the internet. WeddingForward lists "Google gags" and cheesy lines about love among its don'ts.
• More than one drink beforehand. WeddingForward says no more than a glass of bubbles.

If you are using AI for a first draft, the same rules apply, and our guide to whether people can tell AI wrote a speech lists the giveaways: stock phrases, no real stories and too much length.

Delivering it

WeddingWire suggests rehearsing aloud in front of a mirror or a friend, speaking slowly, and talking to the couple rather than the crowd. Practice with the notes you will hold on the day, whether that is cards or your phone.

UK version

Giving a speech at a British wedding? See our maid of honour speech guide (UK version), which covers the UK order and longer UK timings.

Start your draft

Answer five questions on theweddingspeech.ai and see your free speech preview.