Destination wedding speech: what to say and when to say it

A destination wedding speech is a normal wedding speech for a smaller, closer room of people who have all travelled to be there. Thank them for the trip, mention the place once, and fit your speech to the right event of the weekend and to the venue's rules.

What changes when everyone has travelled

ToastWiz, an AI speech-writing site, says "Destination weddings are smaller and more intimate, so shorter speeches land better." It suggests three to five minutes, or 400 to 600 words.

A smaller room is also a chance. Asked what to do if only 25 guests came, the same source says "Lean into it. A small-crowd speech can be more personal." It adds that you can name specific people in the room in a way you could not at a large reception. On tone, it says "Match the energy of the weekend".

Which event, and when

A destination wedding often runs over several days, so check which event your speech belongs to.

• The welcome party. Paperlust describes it as a gathering "for all out-of-town guests (or all guests), distinct from the rehearsal dinner". It says "For destination weddings especially, the welcome party has become almost essential." DestinationWeddings.com recommends "A short toast from the couple welcoming everyone (not the vows preview)." Our wedding welcome speech guide covers what to say in a welcome.
• The rehearsal dinner. Paperlust says this smaller dinner is "typically attended only by the wedding party, immediate family, and their partners." Our rehearsal dinner toast guide covers who speaks and how long.
• The wedding day. The main speeches still belong here.
• The farewell brunch. DestinationWeddings.com says "Skip formal toasts and speeches. This is a goodbye, not a repeat of the reception."

The extra events also make room for extra speakers. Spain4Weddings, a destination wedding planner, says "You can also allow a few people to give speeches at the breakfast before the wedding ceremony or the dinner the night before."

Thanking guests for the trip and the cost

ToastWiz says "Guest thanks at a destination wedding are real, not perfunctory. Make them specific." It names three things to thank people for: the travel itself, the cost and their flexibility. On cost, it says "nobody wants it spelled out", and suggests a general line such as "we know it wasn't nothing to get here". It also warns: "don't apologize for the destination."

WeddingSpeechBuilder agrees: "Light-hearted jokes about the weather are fine, insulting comments about the difficulty or expense of getting there are not!"

Agree with the other speakers who thanks the guests for travelling, so it is said once and said well. Our who to thank guide shows how the thanks are usually shared.

People who could not travel

Some people will not have made the trip. WeddingDates.ie says "For friends and family who are away for whatever reason, it's a kind thought to mention them during speeches." It suggests you "Raise a glass to those who are not with you and thank them". One line and a name or two is enough. Check with the couple first in case an absence is sensitive.

The location

ToastWiz's rule is "One location detail, maximum." It adds "Tie the detail to the couple, not the place."

WeddingSpeechBuilder says the trip gives the whole room a shared experience, which can make humour land, such as a chaotic airport or extreme heat. It warns against being insulting, because "it's possible that some of your audience actually live there". It also says "It helps to know why the Bride and Groom chose the location".

Venue rules and outdoor sound

Venues abroad may have rules a home venue does not. Spain4Weddings' guide to music curfews says that in Spain "the venue will have a legal limit for music hours, especially outdoors." That is about music, not speeches, but ask the venue or planner what time the sound must stop and where the speeches will happen.

For outdoor speeches, ToastWiz says "Get a mic. Even in a 30-person crowd. Outdoor air eats projection." It also says "Wind will lift a single page" and that "Sunset speeches have a 10-minute window before you can't see your notes."

If not everyone speaks your language

Inside Weddings says "Try to have wedding toasts either be short enough to translate, or alternate between languages". If a translator will follow you, write shorter sentences and leave pauses for them.

Making it specific

The common complaint about templates and AI drafts is that they sound generic. A destination speech has more specific material than most:

• One shared moment from the trip. ToastWiz suggests "the boat ride, the dinner the night before, the group hike".
• Why this place. The couple's reason for choosing it, from WeddingSpeechBuilder's advice above.
• Named guests. In a small room you can name the cousin who flew furthest.
• The people at home, by name.

Example toast

This is an example written for this page. The names and details are invented. It runs about 150 words.

Example: Good evening, everyone. For anyone I haven't met on the shuttle bus yet, I'm Leo, Ana's brother.

First, thank you. Some of you have taken two flights and a ferry to be here, and we know what that took. Granny Rose couldn't make the journey, so she has asked me to tell Ana that she is watching the clock at home.

Ana first came to this island on a school trip when she was fourteen. She sent us one postcard, which said only "I'm going to live here one day." She didn't quite manage that. But she has brought all of us here instead, and after last night's boat trip, I think we understand why.

Tom, you have learned some Portuguese for Ana's family, and they noticed. Please raise your glasses: to Ana and Tom.

Start your draft

Answer five questions on theweddingspeech.ai and see your free speech preview. Tell it where the wedding is, who travelled and who could not, and the draft will have something specific to work with.