Grandparent wedding speech: when it happens, how long, and an example

A grandparent can give a short wedding speech if the couple ask, usually two or three minutes, alongside the traditional speeches. There is no fixed slot, so the couple decide where it goes; the best grandparent speeches are one story and one wish.

Is a grandparent speech traditional?

Not in the traditional UK line-up, which is the father of the bride, the groom and the best man. But extra speakers are common. WeddingPlanner.co.uk says "Other people can make a speech too, they don't necessarily have to be part of the wedding party", and that "you might choose your granny to say a few words". It adds that "these speeches should stay short and reasonable".

So a grandfather or grandmother of the bride or groom can speak, but only because the couple want it. If you would like to say something, ask them early rather than surprising them on the day.

When it happens

No source we found gives grandparents a set place. These are the facts that shape it:

• Bridebook says "Traditionally, wedding speeches in the UK take place after the wedding breakfast."
• WeddingPlanner.co.uk's etiquette guide says that with more than the traditional three speakers, it recommends "splitting the speeches through the courses".

Two places keep a short speech from getting lost at the end of a long line-up, and these are our suggestions: at the start of the speeches, or between courses. Our order of wedding speeches guide covers the usual running orders; ask the couple where they would like you.

How long

Keep it short. Country House Weddings gives "2–3 minutes tops" for other speakers such as friends and siblings, saying "These should be short and sweet, especially if they're extra speeches", and suggests the couple "keep the total time for all speeches under 30 minutes". Speechy's sample grandparent speech is laid out as an "Intro (100 words)" and a toast, which shows how little is needed.

As a rough guide, 250 to 350 words is plenty. Our short wedding speech examples show the same length for other roles.

What to say

A grandparent speech has a job no other speech has: you have known one of them for their whole life, and often their parents too. A simple shape, which is our suggestion:

1. Who you are. "I'm Margaret, Ellie's grandmother on her mum's side."
2. One memory of the grandchild. From when they were small, or a moment you shared.
3. A word for their partner. Welcome them into the family by name.
4. A wish or a piece of advice. One sentence, from your own marriage if you have one to draw on.
5. The toast.

If your own husband or wife has died, or one of the couple's grandparents could not be there, a single line remembering them is enough. Our guide to remembering loved ones in a wedding speech has ways to do it without changing the mood of the room.

Watch the language and the length of any story. WeddingPlanner.co.uk's etiquette page reminds other speakers to "Mind the language - there are grandparents present!" The same room will be listening to you.

Making it sound like you

A common worry about speech writers and AI tools is that the result sounds generic. A grandparent has the easiest fix: nobody else in the room has your memories.

• Use names and places. The caravan at Filey, the kitchen table at Elm Road, the dog called Biscuit.
• Pick one memory with a moment in it. Not "she was always a happy child", but the day she did something that made you laugh.
• Add one detail only you know. What their late grandfather said the day they were born, or the thing they still call you.
• Speak in your own voice. If you would not say "embark on this journey" at home, do not say it here.

Example grandparent speech

This is an example written for this page. The names and story are invented. It runs about 230 words.

Example: Good afternoon, everyone. I'm Margaret, Ellie's nan. I've been told I have three minutes, and I've been married fifty-one years, so I know how to keep to a time limit.

When Ellie was six, she stayed with us every summer in the caravan at Filey. One year she decided she was going to run a café. She set up a table outside the door, wrote a menu in felt tip, and charged her grandad ten pence for a cup of water. He paid every time. He said it was the best business decision he ever made, and he'd have been so proud to see the woman she is today.

Josh, the first time Ellie brought you to my house, you ate three slices of my lemon cake and asked for the recipe. Nobody has ever asked for the recipe. I knew then you were staying.

My advice is the same advice Ellie's grandad gave me: be kind first, and be right second. It has worked for fifty-one years.

Would you all please raise your glasses to Ellie and Josh.

Start your draft

Answer five questions on theweddingspeech.ai and see your free speech preview. Put the names, the place and the memory in your answers; the draft can only be as specific as what you tell it.