How to end a wedding speech and lead the toast

End by returning to the main point of your speech, finish on something positive, then ask everyone to raise a glass and name who you are toasting. Plan the exact words in advance so you do not trail off.

Closing the speech

Bridebook's guide to starting and ending a speech gives three ways to close:

• Recap your key message. Repeat the central point from the body. Its example is "We can all see how happy" the couple make each other.
• Share advice or a thought. Your view on love and marriage, or advice for the couple. If you have none, it suggests a quote about love, a wedding reading or a line from a song.
• End positively. A final blessing, one last thank you, or a warm smile.

Our 3-part structure template shows where the ending sits in the whole speech.

Leading the toast

Bridebook's steps for the toast itself:

1. Make sure guests have something to drink, such as prosecco, champagne or a non-alcoholic sparkling drink.
2. Ask all guests to lift their glasses.
3. Wish the couple "joy, good health, and a lifetime of happiness".
4. Smile and lead a heartfelt cheer. Its example line is "To the newlyweds, cheers!"

Bridebook's mistakes guide for best men adds three practical points: end with a clear toast to the couple, plan the line in advance, and check that everyone's glass is full before you raise yours.

Plan the last line

Bridebook's best man guide lists "skipping the toast" as a mistake. Its advice is to end with a clear toast to the couple and plan the line in advance, so write the final sentence and the toast wording on your notes rather than improvising them. It also suggests a printed copy with key-word prompts as a backup if nerves or technology let you down. If your speech ends with a story or a joke, add a short line that turns it back to the couple before you ask people to stand, so the room knows the toast is coming.

Standing, drinking and tapping the glass

Emily Post is a US etiquette source, not a British one, so treat these as conventions rather than UK rules.

• The person giving the toast stands. Everyone else stays seated unless the toaster asks them to rise.
• Everyone drinks except the person honoured, who then rises, acknowledges the toast and says thank you.
• Keep it short, prepare the words and rehearse them.

Wikipedia's article on toasts says that except in very small, informal gatherings a toast is offered standing, that tapping a glass for quiet is regarded by some authorities as rude, and that the person giving the toast should never do so with an empty glass. It says "Cheers" is an English toast.

Who toasts whom

Sources describe a similar pattern, but not an identical one.

• Father of the bride. Bridebook and WeddingPlanner.co.uk have him opening and raising a toast to the couple.
• Groom. Bredenbury Court's best man guide treats the groom's toast to the bridesmaids as something the best man answers. Our groom's speech guide shows sources disagreeing on whether to toast the bridesmaids first or end on the bride.
• Best man. Bridebook says he ends with a toast to the bride and groom. Wikipedia describes the best man proposing best wishes and congratulations to the newlyweds.

If you are not sure who proposes which toast, ask the couple. Our best man speech guide covers the toast he usually gives.

Start your draft

Answer five questions on theweddingspeech.ai and see your free speech preview.