How to start a wedding speech: opening lines by role

Start by saying who you are and how you know the couple, then give one short line that gets a smile or shows warmth. Keep the opening to one or two sentences, and save the stories for later in the speech.

What the opening is for

Bridebook's best man opening lines guide says the first line "does one job": "get a laugh (or a smile) and buy yourself thirty seconds to settle your nerves." It says one or two sentences is enough. The opening does not need to be clever. It needs to tell the room who you are and set the tone.

Bridebook's UK guide to starting a speech gives three broad approaches:

• A simple introduction. Say who you are and your role. It says this feels silly when most guests know you, but it helps you feel more confident.
• Humour. A funny story or pun can win the room, as long as guests will understand it.
• Something heartfelt. A memory, such as when you first heard about the partner, or a quote, song reference or piece of advice.

The Australian version of the same Bridebook guide adds a fallback: "If all else fails, say thank you to everyone present", which it calls a fool-proof opener.

Opening lines by role

Each speaker has a different job in the UK order, so the opening changes with the role. Our guide to the order of wedding speeches explains who speaks when.

The lines in quotation marks below marked example were written for this page, not taken from a real wedding. Swap in your own names and details.

Father of the bride

He usually speaks first and welcomes the guests. WeddingsOnline.ie suggests introducing yourself as the bride's father, with an optional joke, then welcoming the guests.

Example: "Good afternoon, everyone. For anyone I haven't met yet, I'm Emma's dad, and on behalf of both our families, welcome. It means a great deal to see so many of you here."

Groom

The groom usually follows the father of the bride. Clevedon Hall suggests complimenting the previous speech as an opening, and Guides for Brides says to thank the bride's father for it.

Example: "Thank you, Michael, for those kind words, and for not bringing out the photos you threatened me with. My wife and I..." (pause for the cheer) "...would like to thank you all for coming."

Best man

Bridebook's best man guide gives lines such as "When [groom] asked me to be his best man, it was one of the easiest yeses I've ever given." It says to choose the line for the audience, not for what made you laugh when you found it, and to pick a milder one if you are unsure.

Example: "Hello everyone. I'm Sam, and I've known Tom since we were eleven. He asked me to keep this short and clean, so I'll do my best with one of those."

Maid of honour

Bridebook's maid of honour tips suggest an introduction of 30 to 45 seconds: who you are, how long you have known the bride and how you met. Its UK opening lines guide gives "As [XX]'s best friend, all I've ever wanted is for them to find someone who loves them as much as I do..."

Example: "Hi everyone, I'm Priya. Jess and I met on our first day of secondary school, when she lent me a pen and never asked for it back. Twenty years later, I'm still trying to return the favour."

Friend, sibling or other speaker

Bridebook's UK guide gives an all-purpose introduction: "For those who don't know me, my name is [XX] and I am [XX]'s [Brother/Sister/Best Friend/Colleague]." If you are not one of the traditional speakers, saying how you know the couple matters more, because fewer guests will know.

Example: "Hello, I'm Ben. Most of you won't know me, so: I shared a flat with Alex for three years at university, which makes me the only person here qualified to talk about his cooking."

What to avoid in the first 30 seconds

Bridebook's two guides list these:

• In-jokes. Too many personal jokes can leave guests "baffled or worse, bored." Bridebook's best man guide also warns against jokes that "only make sense to a small friend group."
• Exes. The best man guide lists "references to exes" among openers to avoid.
• Embarrassing the couple. Avoid jokes that "could genuinely embarrass the couple in front of family", and skip a roast opener unless you know the person would welcome the teasing.
• Unchecked risqué material. Run anything risqué past the couple first.
• Copying the last speech. If you follow a rowdy or an emotional speech, your opener should set yours apart without losing the guests.
• Rushing. Pause, breathe between sentences and make eye contact rather than staring into the middle distance.

London Speech Workshop suggests taking "that first moment to ground yourself" when you stand up, then looking around the room, making eye contact and smiling before you speak. If you want to open with a quote, our guide to wedding speech quotes lists well-known lines with their real authors.

Rehearse the opening most

The opening is the part you say while you are most nervous, so it is the part most worth knowing by heart. Bridebook's best man guide says to say the line out loud before the day, because timing affects how it lands. Write the first sentence in full on your cue card even if the rest is prompts.

Then plan the ending

A strong start needs a clear finish. Our guide to ending a wedding speech covers the closing lines and how to lead the toast.

Start your draft

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