Irish wedding speech traditions: order, toasts and blessings

At an Irish wedding the father of the bride traditionally speaks first and the best man last, with the father of the groom and the groom in between. The full set of speeches usually runs 25 to 40 minutes, and more couples now hold them before the meal.

Who speaks, and in what order

Weddingsonline.ie, an Irish wedding site, says "There are no set rules about who actually gets to speak or for how long, but at most weddings in Ireland, the father of the bride, the groom and the best man are usual suspects." It says "Either the banqueting manager at the reception venue or the best man will adopt the role of toastmaster", introducing the first speaker.

The running order it describes:

1. Father of the bride. "Traditionally, the first speaker at Irish weddings is the Father of the Bride." He welcomes the guests and the groom, talks about his daughter, and ends "with a toast of health and happiness to the happy couple."
2. Father of the groom. "The father of the groom will make a short speech at most weddings in Ireland today." He talks about his son, welcomes his new daughter-in-law, and "can then make a toast to the bride and groom if he so wishes."
3. Groom. His "main role during his speech is to thank the guests for travelling to the wedding and also for their kind gifts."
4. Bride. Optional, and growing in popularity.
5. Best man. "The Best Man is normally the last of the speakers."

The main difference from a typical UK line-up is the father of the groom, who has a regular slot here. Our order of wedding speeches guide covers the UK order for comparison, and our father of the bride guide covers the opening speech in detail.

The groom's speech is the thank-you speech

In Ireland the groom carries most of the thanks. Weddingsonline.ie lists the guests, the bride's father, the hotel staff and his own parents. It says "It is the groom's duty to propose a toast to the bridesmaids", and that at this point "it would be standard practice for the bride and groom to present gifts (usually flowers) to both mothers at the top table."

Weddingdates.ie, another Irish wedding site, gives a similar checklist for the groom: "Thank guests, both families for their support, the priest for the wedding ceremony. Toast to the bridesmaids and thank them for a job well done." It ends with him handing over to the best man, whose speech it calls "the most light-hearted and humorous of the speeches."

With a long list of thanks, keep each one to a sentence. Group people where you can.

When the speeches happen, and how long

Weddingsonline.ie says "It is becoming increasingly popular to have the wedding speeches before the meal", especially when speakers are nervous. It says the venue usually needs to know at least a couple of days in advance.

On length, it says "the duration of the full wedding speeches (including all speakers) usually lasts 25 to 40 minutes." With four or five speakers, that leaves each person well under ten minutes.

Toasts and blessings in Irish

A short phrase in Irish can mark the moment, if it suits the couple. Only use one you can pronounce with confidence.

• Sláinte. Foclóir.ie, the English-Irish dictionary from Foras na Gaeilge, gives "sláinte" and "sláinte mhaith" for cheers as a toast. The Ó Dónaill dictionary on Teanglann.ie translates "Seo do shláinte!" as "Here's a health to you!" and "Sláinte agus saol (chugat)!" as "Health and long life to you!"
• Go mbeirimid beo ar an am seo arís. The same dictionary, under beir, gives this as "may we live to see this time next year." It works as a closing wish before the toast.

For a blessing in English, weddingsonline.ie's guide to Irish wedding customs gives a wedding toast that begins "May God be with you and bless you, may you see your children's children, may you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings." It does not give an Irish-language version, so do not present it as a translation.

An example closing

An example written for this page, for a groom named Ciarán marrying Aoife:

"Before I hand over to Darragh, a few more thank-yous. To Aoife's parents, Pat and Siobhán, for welcoming me from the very first Sunday dinner. To my own mam and dad, for everything, and for driving to Galway every weekend that first year. To Father Liam, for a ceremony that was ours. To Niamh and Clodagh, who kept Aoife calm this morning and kept me on time. Would you all please stand and raise your glasses to the bridesmaids.

And to Aoife. You said yes in the rain on Inis Oírr, and I have not stopped grinning since. Go mbeirimid beo ar an am seo arís. Sláinte."

Making an Irish wedding speech your own

A common complaint about templates and AI speech writers is that the result sounds generic. An Irish wedding has its own material, but only if you tie it to these two people:

• Name the places. The parish, the GAA club, the town they left or came home to.
• Make the thanks specific. Say what each person did, not just their name. "For driving to Galway every weekend" beats "for all their support".
• Use Irish only where it fits. If the couple speak Irish, a line of it means something. If not, one well-chosen phrase is enough.
• Leave out the stock jokes. A borrowed blessing or a joke about Irish weddings in general says nothing about this couple. One true story does more.

Our Scottish wedding speech traditions guide covers a similar mix of shared and local customs.

Start your draft

Answer five questions on theweddingspeech.ai and see your free speech preview. Tell it the names you need to thank and the places that matter; the draft can only be as specific as what you put in.