Wedding toast vs wedding speech: what is the difference?

A toast is the short moment when a speaker raises a glass and wishes the couple well. A speech is the longer talk, and in the UK order it usually finishes with a toast. Sources do not always keep the two apart.

How sources define them

• Toast. Dessy says a toast is usually no more than a sentence or two, is less formal and less structured, and focuses on celebrating the occasion. Emily Post says to keep it short and to the point.
• Speech. Dessy says a speech is a longer, more personalised message that focuses on the couple. It gives no set length for speeches. Bridebook says most wedding speeches last between three and seven minutes.
• The toast is the end of the speech. Dessy says that in a full speech the toast comes last, after the introduction, thanks, personal story and advice. Its example closing lines are "Here's to the happy couple!" and "Cheers to a lifetime of love and happiness!"

Where sources disagree

Richmond Magazine uses "toast" and "speech" interchangeably and gives "three or four minutes max" for a toast. That is far longer than Dessy's sentence or two, and it is close to the speech lengths in our length guide. So if someone asks you for "a toast", ask the couple what they mean.

Who gives which

Dessy says anyone can give a toast, while common speech-givers include the maid of honour, the best man and the father of the bride. Bridebook says traditional speeches often include parents, the newlyweds and members of the wedding party, and that many couples now personalise the order and format. Dessy puts the best man first. In the traditional UK order the father of the bride speaks first, the groom second and the best man third, as our order of speeches guide explains.

Which one are you giving?

This is a practical reading of the sources, not a rule.

• If you are one of the traditional speakers, prepare a speech and end it with a toast. Bridebook's father of the bride outline, for example, ends with a toast.
• If you are a guest, relative or friend, Dessy's description of a toast fits: a sentence or two. Ask the couple before you stand up. Emily Post says the host toasts first at large functions, and Richmond Magazine says the host's first toast opens the floor to close friends and family.
• If you are asked for "a few words", treat it as a short speech and keep to the shorter lengths in the sources.

What the couple may expect

None of the sources we loaded says that a toast and a speech are treated differently by UK venues or toastmasters, so there is no formal rule to follow. The practical test is the couple's wishes and the room. Bridebook says many couples now personalise the order and format, and our order of speeches guide lists the extra speakers that sources mention, such as siblings, bridesmaids and groomsmen. If the couple have not told you, ask them how long they want you to speak and when you will be called on.

Doing the toast part well

Whichever you give, the toast works the same way. Emily Post says the person giving it stands, everyone else stays seated unless asked to rise, and everyone drinks except the person honoured. Richmond Magazine says the couple raise their glasses only when returning the toast. Emily Post and Richmond Magazine are both US sources, so these are conventions, not UK rules.

Both warn against material that does not suit the room. Richmond Magazine's list includes past relationships, inside jokes others will not understand, unsolicited advice and anything beyond PG, and it says "it's a toast, not a roast". Our guide to ending a speech and leading the toast has the wording and the steps for raising the glass.

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