Bridesmaid speech: when a bridesmaid speaks, how long, and what to say

A bridesmaid speech is a short, optional speech given by a bridesmaid who is not the maid of honour, usually right after the maid of honour's speech. Aim for three to five minutes, or less if other bridesmaids are speaking too.

When a bridesmaid speaks

There is no traditional slot for a bridesmaid speech, so it depends on the couple and on where the wedding is.

At a UK wedding, the traditional speeches are the father of the bride, the groom and the best man. Bridebook's guide to who does the speeches calls even the maid of honour speech "a lovely but untraditional wedding speech", and says "the order of speeches and who makes the toasts isn't set in stone." Its guide to speech length says "having a bridesmaid's speech after the maid of honour speech may be nice way to keep things flowing." Our order of speeches guide shows where the extra speeches usually fit.

At a US wedding, WeddingWire says the best man and maid of honor speak at the reception, and the rehearsal dinner "is a chance for other bridesmaids and groomsmen to publicly share their well wishes." If several people want to speak, it suggests keeping the traditional toasts for the wedding and moving the rest to the rehearsal dinner.

When there is no maid of honour, Bridebook notes that "it's becoming more and more common for brides not to pick a maid of honour", and lists "one of the bridesmaids" as someone who can give the speech. In that case, our guides to the maid of honour speech (UK) and the maid of honor speech (US) cover the full role.

Before you write, ask the bride three things: whether you are speaking at the wedding or the rehearsal dinner, who speaks before you, and how long you have.

How long to speak

Source	Length
Bridebook	"Around 5 minutes long (less if you'd like multiple bridesmaids to make a speech)"
Easy Weddings	"Around three to five minutes"
WeddingWire Canada, joint speeches	"Three to five minutes is standard" for two people speaking together

You are an extra speech, and guests will already have heard several. Shorter is kinder. Two to three minutes is enough to tell one good story and give a toast.

What to say

Bridebook says the bridesmaid speech is untraditional, with no fixed rules. Its suggested topics are:

• "Happy memories you share with the bride"
• "Your thoughts on love and marriage"
• "How beautiful the other bridesmaids look"
• "Your well-wishes for the happy couple"

Easy Weddings adds a reminder that is easy to miss: "you need to talk about her new spouse too!" A simple shape:

1. Who you are and how you know the bride, in one line.
2. One story that shows who she is.
3. Her partner, by name: how you met them, or what you have noticed since they got together.
4. A toast to both of them.

Coordinate with the maid of honour

Your speech sits right next to the maid of honour's, so talk to her first. If you both tell the story of the holiday in Crete, the second telling falls flat. Agree who covers what: perhaps she takes the school years and you take university, or she tells the funny story and you give the sincere one.

Speaking as a group

When several bridesmaids want to speak, a joint speech often works better than three short solos. WeddingWire Canada's tips for a joint speech say to:

• Start by "introducing yourselves and explaining why the two of you are giving the toast as a duo."
• Keep solo stories "short and sweet so that one of you isn't hogging the mic."
• Avoid trading sentences back and forth and leaning "heavily on inside jokes that only the two of you know."
• Remember that "you should be supporting characters and they should be the star."

How to make it specific, not generic

A speech that says "she's always been there for me" could be about any bride. Instead:

• Name the place. "The flat above the chip shop on Victoria Road" puts the room there with you.
• Tell one detail only you know. The voice note she sent before your exam, or the thing she always orders and never finishes.
• Use her partner's name, and say one specific thing about them.
• Explain any inside joke in a sentence, or cut it. Half the room won't know it.

A short example

This example was written for this page. The names and details are invented; swap in your own.

"Hi everyone, I'm Aisha. I've been one of Sophie's bridesmaids for about six months, and one of her friends for twelve years, since we were put in the same terrible halls at Leeds.

On our first night, the fire alarm went off at 2am. Everyone ran outside in pyjamas. Sophie ran outside fully dressed, with a coat, a torch and a packet of biscuits she shared with the whole corridor. That's who she is. She's the one who's ready, and she makes sure everyone else is all right.

Ben, you're the first person I've seen her not plan for. Please raise your glasses: to Sophie and Ben."

It runs about 120 words, short enough to sit after the maid of honour without making the evening drag.

What to avoid

From Easy Weddings: "don't be derogatory and don't embarrass your friend/s in front of their nearest and dearest," and "Don't just turn up on the day and wing it." Rehearse it aloud, time it, and keep a printed copy.

Start your draft

Answer five questions about the bride, her partner and the story you want to tell, and see your free speech preview.