Funny best man speech: how to get laughs without the jokes that go wrong

A funny best man speech gets its laughs from true stories about the groom and gentle teasing, not from borrowed one-liners. Keep every joke affectionate, make sure the whole room can follow it, and cut anything about exes or the stag do.

Where the laughs come from

The jokes that work at a wedding are the ones only you could tell. A guest who has never met the groom should still get the joke, and his gran should still be smiling at the end of it.

Guides for Brides gives three reliable sources of laughter:

• Yourself. It says "self-deprecating jokes work well to get the room on your side." Starting with a joke at your own expense also tells the room you are not there to humiliate anyone.
• A trait everyone knows. It says jokes about immediate family work well "especially if it's about a characteristic that everyone knows about", and gives being late, falling asleep and being an angry driver as examples.
• Things the whole room shares. Its advice is to "focus on jokes aimed at something everyone can relate to".

Bredenbury Court's best man guide sums up the balance in four words: "Warm first, funny second." It also says to "punch up, not down": jokes at the groom's expense are fine if they are affectionate, and jokes at anyone else's are not.

The jokes that go wrong

Most best man speeches that fall flat fail in the same few ways. The sources agree on the list:

Joke	Why it goes wrong	Source
Exes	Bredenbury Court says to avoid "anything about previous partners, on either side"	Bredenbury Court
The roast	"If a story would make either of them wince rather than laugh, cut it"	Bridebook
Inside jokes	"Inside jokes work best briefly explained, not assumed"	Bridebook
Stag-do stories	Bredenbury Court warns against stories "that need editing in your head as you tell them"	Bredenbury Court
Worn-out gags	Familiar jokes have lost their impact through overuse	Great Speech Writing
The insult in disguise	"An insult is really not a joke, and that's exactly how it will come across"	Great Speech Writing

Our full guide to wedding speech jokes to avoid goes through all ten of Great Speech Writing's categories.

A quick test of our own: imagine the groom's grandparents and the bride's boss hearing it. If either would look at the floor, cut it.

How to make it specific, not generic

A common complaint about speech templates and AI drafts is that they sound generic. One Reddit commenter put it plainly: "AI speech tends to sound very generic and disingenuous." Borrowed jokes make that worse: a line like "marriage is a workshop: he works, she shops" has been heard at a hundred weddings, and guests switch off.

Specific stories fix this. Before you write anything, list:

• Three true stories about the groom, each one you could tell in under a minute.
• One habit everyone knows: the alarm he never hears, the satnav he never trusts, the takeaway order he never changes.
• One detail only you know: the thing he said the night he met his partner, or what he did when he thought nobody was watching.
• Names and places. "The Travelodge in Carlisle" is funnier than "a hotel", and "his 2009 Vauxhall Corsa" is funnier than "his car".

Then pick the one story that is funny and also says something good about him. The best best man stories turn at the end: the groom looks a bit daft, and then it turns out he is kind, loyal or brave.

A short example

This example was written for this page. The names and details are invented; swap in your own.

"I've known Tom since we were eleven, which means I've had twenty-three years to collect material. Sadly his mum is sitting at table two, so you're getting the edited version.

Tom is famous for one thing: he is never on time. He was late to his own eighteenth. He was late to his driving test, which he then passed, which nobody has ever been able to explain.

So when he rang me at six in the morning two years ago and said 'I'm outside your flat', I assumed something was badly wrong. It wasn't. He'd been up all night because he'd met Priya the evening before and wanted someone to tell. He was early for the first time in his life, and he's been early for her ever since.

Priya, he will still be late for everything else. Please raise your glasses: to Tom and Priya."

It runs about 170 words. The jokes are about a habit everyone knows, his mum is in on it, and the story ends on the couple.

Delivery: let the laughs land

• Test it on one honest person. Guides for Brides says to find "a well-informed confidant who you can run your speech past", and Bridebook says to rehearse in front of one trusted person who will give honest feedback.
• Don't announce a joke. Great Speech Writing warns against saying "This next story is absolutely hilarious!" because it sets the bar too high.
• Keep the set-up short. It also says to "get to the point". Long set-ups lose the room before the punchline.
• Stop for laughs. If the room laughs, wait for it to fade before your next line, or the next joke gets lost.
• Keep it short. Bridebook says three to five minutes is the sweet spot. Guides for Brides says five minutes is plenty for any traditional wedding speech.
• Go easy on the drink. Bridebook warns that being tired and hungover derails a speech.

Not everyone wants to be the comedian, and that is fine. If jokes are not your thing, our guide to a wedding speech without jokes shows how to be warm and still hold the room. For order, structure and timing, see the UK best man speech guide.

Start your draft

Answer five questions about the groom, your stories and the tone you want, and see your free speech preview.