Funny maid of honor speech: be funny without embarrassing her

A funny maid of honor speech makes the room laugh with the bride, never at her. Aim jokes at harmless habits everyone recognizes, at yourself, or at your friendship, test them on someone who knows her, and end on one sincere minute about the couple.

How funny should it be?

As funny as you are, and no more. WeddingWire's maid of honor guide says "don't be afraid to be funny," and also that "If humor isn't your strong suit, it doesn't have to be a hilarious maid of honor speech." A speech with two good laughs and a real story beats five minutes of strained jokes.

Length matters more when you are going for laughs. WeddingWire says the speech "should only be about two to three minutes long." At the 100 to 150 words a minute VirtualSpeech gives as a comfortable pace, that is about 200 to 450 words, and pauses for laughter come out of the same time.

The jokes that work

Guides for Brides' advice on funny speeches says to "try and avoid jokes that are too personal" and to aim for "jokes aimed at something everyone can relate to." In practice:

• Her harmless habits. Always late, always lost, a spreadsheet for every holiday. Things her grandmother and her coworkers both recognize.
• Yourself. Guides for Brides says "Self-deprecating jokes work well to get the room on your side." Your bad advice, your terrible first impression of the groom.
• Your friendship. The disastrous road trip, the shared apartment with no heating. You are both in the story, so neither of you is the butt of it.
• A callback. Set up a small detail early and return to it in the toast.

The jokes to cut

WeddingWire is blunt: "exes or drunken debauchery should not be included in a maid of honor speech." Guides for Brides says "Jokes about former relationships can be really dangerous ground, as can anything which is going to cause embarrassment." Cut any joke that:

• Mentions an ex, or how many people she dated.
• Depends on the bachelorette party, alcohol or anything she would not tell her parents.
• Teases the groom harder than you tease her. He may not know you well enough to take it.
• Only your friend group understands. In-jokes leave most of the room out.
• Touches weight, money, religion, family conflict or a past breakup.

Our guide to wedding speech jokes to avoid has the full list and the reasons.

Know the room

Guides for Brides says "The key here is how well you know your audience," and "What the bride's 85-year-old grandmother finds funny, might not be quite the same as what her 18-year-old cousin does!" Its conclusion: "the kind of jokes that work best tend to be 'safe' jokes." A wedding room runs from children to grandparents, and from her best friends to her new in-laws. Write for the person who knows her least.

Test every joke

Guides for Brides says "You need to find a well-informed confidant who you can run your speech past without giving it away." Pick someone who knows the bride and her family, such as another bridesmaid or her sibling. Ask two questions about each joke: is it funny, and would she be happy hearing it with her new in-laws in the room? If the answer to the second is "probably," cut it.

Read it aloud too. A line that is funny on paper can fall flat when spoken, and a pause in the right place often matters more than the words.

Make it specific, not generic

The quickest way to sound generic is a joke you found online. Stock one-liners could be told at any wedding, and some guests will have heard them before. The funniest material is the true detail only you know:

• One real story with a place and a time. The night the tent collapsed at the lake, not "she's a disaster at camping."
• Her actual words. A text she sent, a thing she always says.
• A detail that turns sincere. The best funny speeches use the same story for the laugh and the point: she got everyone lost, and then she got everyone home.

End on something sincere

Guides for Brides says "Sincerity and authenticity count for a lot." Give the last third to the couple: what you have seen the groom do for her, and why you are glad. Then raise your glass. Our maid of honor speech guide covers the structure, and the funny best man speech guide covers the same balance from the other side.

Example funny maid of honor speech

This is an example written for this page. The names and story are invented. It runs about 190 words.

Example: Hi, everyone. I'm Jess, and I've been Megan's best friend since sixth grade, when she organized a protest against the cafeteria's tacos. There were two of us. I was the second one, and I didn't even mind the tacos. That's what being Megan's friend is like. You join things. You join book clubs, half marathons, and one very long road trip to Nashville, where she navigated, we got lost, and she told us the four-hour detour was "the scenic route." She has a color-coded spreadsheet for everything, including, I'm told, this wedding, which had a tab just for my speech. Megan, I hope I'm hitting my targets. Then she met Ryan, who doesn't own a single spreadsheet. He's the only person I've ever seen make her late, and she was smiling about it. Ryan, you make my friend calmer and happier, and you laugh at her tacos story every time. Thank you. Please raise your glasses. To Megan and Ryan, and to the scenic route.

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