When do wedding speeches happen? Timing on the day (UK and US)

At a UK wedding the speeches traditionally come after the meal, in the order father of the bride, groom, best man. Many couples now move them before the meal or between courses, so the only sure answer is to ask the couple for the day's timings.

This page answers "when". For a fuller account of who says what and in which order, see our order of wedding speeches guide.

When each speech happens at a UK wedding

Bridebook says "Traditionally, wedding speeches in the UK take place after the wedding breakfast." Country House Weddings and WeddingPlanner.co.uk agree that after the meal is the traditional slot.

Speaker	Where they usually fall
Father of the bride	First. Bridebook says he is traditionally the first to give a speech.
Groom	Second. Bridebook says it is customary for the groom to go next.
Best man	Last of the traditional three. Bridebook says he usually ends with a toast to the couple, closing the traditional order.
Bride, maid of honour	Optional. Bridebook says they generally follow the best man, but the order need not be set in stone. WeddingPlanner.co.uk puts the bride between the groom and best man.

Before the meal, after it, or in between

Sources describe four options:

• After the meal. The traditional choice. Country House Weddings says the audience is "relaxed, fed" and the reception is not held up.
• Before the meal. Bridebook says it is increasingly common, so nervous speakers can eat once they have finished. Country House Weddings notes it delays guests getting fed.
• Between courses. Bridebook says this is most often after the main course and before dessert. Country House Weddings says it is not ideal for catering if speeches overrun.
• Start of the evening reception. WeddingPlanner.co.uk lists this as an option so that all your guests can watch.

Where practice varies, it is the couple and the venue who decide. Ask the venue whether the kitchen needs a fixed time. Country House Weddings suggests keeping all the speeches together under 30 minutes: our how long should a wedding speech be guide has the lengths by role.

Who speaks at the meal and who at the reception

The sources we checked describe the traditional speeches as part of the meal. Bridebook does not discuss evening-reception speeches at all, and WeddingPlanner.co.uk mentions the start of the evening reception only as one possible slot. We found no source setting a separate list of evening speakers, so treat any evening speech as something to agree with the couple, such as a welcome or a thank-you from the couple themselves.

Does the father of the groom speak?

Not in the traditional UK order. Country House Weddings lists "Father or mother of the groom" among modern additions, and WeddingPlanner.co.uk mentions father-of-the-groom speeches as a modern option. If you have been asked, our father of the groom speech guide covers length and what to say. In the US he is traditionally the host of the rehearsal dinner and makes the first toast there, according to Emily Post.

The US order, for comparison

The US order is different and less fixed. At the reception Emily Post says "the best man leads off the toasting", the parents will most likely toast ahead of the groom, and the groom's toast "can come any time after the best man has made his toast." WeddingWire lists the best man first, then the maid of honor, then any hosting parents, and sometimes the couple.

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