A toast to my son on his wedding day: what to say

A toast to your son at his wedding has four parts: one true story about him, a welcome to his partner and their family, a wish for the two of them, and the glass. Keep it under two minutes and say it in your own words.

This page is for any parent, step-parent or guardian giving a short toast, whether or not you are on the formal speech list. If you are the main speaker, see our guides for the father of the groom and mother of the groom.

The outline

1. A thank you or welcome (15 seconds). Thank the hosts, and welcome both families.
2. One story about your son (45 seconds). One real memory that shows who he is.
3. His partner (30 seconds). What you see in them together.
4. The wish and the toast (20 seconds). A short wish, then ask everyone to stand.

At a comfortable 100 to 150 words a minute, VirtualSpeech's guide to speaking rate puts two minutes at around 200 to 300 words. Our free wedding speech timer will time your own pace.

Example lines to adapt

These are original to this page. Replace the brackets with something true.

Opening:

• "I am [Name]'s [mum/dad]. That means I am the only person here who can tell you that he has not been on time to anything since 1999. He is on time today, and I could not be prouder."
• "Thank you, everyone, for coming to celebrate [Name] and [Partner]. I have been asked to keep this short. I have been practising."

The story:

• "When [Name] was [age], he [specific thing]. We thought it was a disaster. Looking back, it was the first time I saw how patient he is."
• "[Name] has always been the one who [specific habit, such as turning up with a spare charger or checking everyone got home]. [Partner], you have married a man who notices."

His partner:

• "[Partner], from the first time you came to dinner I could see that he stopped talking about himself quite so much. Thank you for that."
• "[Partner's parents], thank you for bringing up someone we are so happy to welcome into the family."

The wish and toast:

• "[Name], I am proud of the man you are. [Partner], welcome. Please raise your glasses: to [Name] and [Partner]."

What to leave out

• Old girlfriends, exes or comparisons with siblings.
• Stories that make the bride's or groom's family uncomfortable, including divorce, money or health.
• Long advice about marriage. One sentence is enough.
• A list of every relative. Thank only the people who matter most. If you also have a daughter marrying, our toast to my daughter on her wedding day has the same outline.

If you get emotional

It is normal. Pause, take a breath and look at one friendly face. Printed cue cards help if your mind goes blank; the free cue cards tool turns your toast into numbered cards to print or read on a phone.

If you are not sure what to say

Write down three things: a moment you were proud of him, something he does that makes people's lives easier, and one thing you notice about him with his partner. Choose the one that makes you smile. That is your story.

Where to stand and when to speak

Ask the couple or the toastmaster where you fall in the running order, and whether there will be a microphone. If you speak after dinner, wait until the room is quiet and everyone has a glass. A short parent toast often slots in just before or after the main speeches, and the couple will tell you which.

Say the first line slowly. Nerves make people rush, and the opening is where you are most likely to. Plan the very first sentence word for word, then trust yourself for the rest.

Start your draft

Answer five questions on theweddingspeech.ai about your son and his partner, and see your free speech preview.